Today's service was really good though and it was really a sermon of the season. Today's sermon was by Pastor Derek and it was my first time hearing him preach. The topic was about finishing the race. Most of the things that were said are really true and at then end, we learned of how to finish the race.
At the end of the sermon, there was an altar call for those who were tired, felt like giving up and such and though I didn't go down, I could really feel for what Pastor Derek said and slowly, I begin to remember the things which have happened this past week and how I had really fell and hurt myself and in the process, I felt that God wasn't there and I felt really tired, dry and I felt like giving up. Now, today's sermon has really put things in perspective. As I was thinking, I began to confess to God and I asked for His forgiveness and tears just flowed out and it just kept on flowing. I feel that I should really have gone down during the altar call.
Anyway, these are the tests that God has given us as He would never give us a life where He is unnecessary. I believe that God knows me and that He would never give me a test so difficult that I would not be able to overcome instead, I know that as long as I keep the faith, I will find a way out.
Even though I'm saying all these, I still find that I'm still lacking in faith so I really hope that I would have so much faith and I would keep on running the race until the days when my legs give up and that I'm in the arms of my heavenly Father. Amen

12:31 AM<3

Well, today's post would not be one that is religious instead, it will be one that is of my thinking as of my present moment. These are all random thoughts and it would appear as fragments and such but to me, it forms a big picture about humanity and the society so if you weren't interested, I would encourage you to stop here.

We truly live in a paradox.
On one hand, we are so quick to make judgment on things and other based on first glance and or what others have told us. We are always so quick to believe and pass judgment. Yet on the other hand, we probe too deeply into things which are just as simple as it looks. Why does everything have to have a reason? Can't we just leave things as it is?
Why do we have to swing to the extremes instead of settling in the gray area in between? Can't we all agree to disagree? When will certain have mindsets of their own instead of being mindless drones that pass on the mindset of others to themselves and others too?
I'm just so sickened by how others let their poison seep into others and that more would also have the poisoned mindset of the first. Why can't we just step back and see if what we are saying is true or is it just a biased viewed based upon one incident? Why can't we just agree to disagree? Why can't certain people have their own thinking instead of latching onto the thinking of others?

These days, we are living in the me first society where humans are such creatures full of vanity and pride that we have a tendency to commit to the behavior and thinking that the world revolves around us. Even objective thinking has subjective views in it
Behind our 'objective' comments are our ideologies, expectations, axioms and maxims. Rarely do we have objective views now.

Well, now let's talk about truths. When we talk about truth, whose truth are we talking about? Is the truth you are expounding universal? Is the statement "There is no such thing as truth" a truth by itself? Well, I guess since the only constant is change, people have to learn how to deal with uncertainty. We would have our own truths and realities, however we should be skeptical in believing in totality of our own beliefs, therefore we should take no rigid stances in our so called truths and realities. Instead, we should always renew it. Perhaps we have a system in place, people who are "good" towards us are "good" people, and people that doesn't live up to our expectations are "bad" people

(Mis)communication or (mis)understanding has to be two-fold. A person might misunderstand the shy man's portrayal of timidity as overbearing arrogance which could lead to the hater being offended into hating or he may choose to The hater, being offended by this shy person then he hater is giving a reaction that rather than an action. To hate is to react.

Is there a belief we hold that affects the balance of our worry, fear, anxiety, grief, enjoy, etc.? The ideologies we hold, our expectations of others? Does hate derive from the imbalance of such a belief? What if....... What if we discarded such a belief?
In discarding a belief, one acquires a different kind of "knowledge", which now governs one's attitude and behaviour. Is this a new realisation?

I guess what we can do is to assume for the best.Like would you rather believe in someone's capacity for benevolence and be wrong about it? Or believe that this someone is a total bad ass and be right about it? Perhaps what we can all learn to do is to give more people the "benefit of the doubt" For me, I've believe that man no matter how bad they may be would still have a glimmer of goodness within but then I'm always being proved wrong in this so I'm quite unsure of it now even though I still do it.

Humans are not perfect, we have flaws, but these flaws give more impetus for continual thinking

Others have always said I think too much but "who" questions the people who "think too much"? People who think too little? There are many things and standards in life that are "pre-determined" Sometimes, it's a societal standard Like usually it is the socially proficient who calls others socially inept

Even now? can we say that we are fully objective in our thinking? That we don't judge others? I can't say that of myself as sometimes, it still happens I make prejudgements of people but like all problems, the first step to a solution is to recognise them so it's really up to us to make the first step. Baby steps are better than inertia.

Then again, thinking too much has its drawback too. For instance, if we had too much time to think, we would realise that here we are in the 21st century where war, prejudice and bigotry are as prevalent as ever but sadly when you start "thinking too much" there's little hope of turning back.

Well, I've finally come to the end and I'll like to congratulate you for finishing this post if you did and as such, I would leave you all with this quote. "The wise are always in doubt."

11:43 PM<3

Education?

11:04 AM<3

Often, people have asked; "Does God exist?", "If there is a God, why is there still so much suffering and pain everywhere?". Well, I've heard this story somewhere before and it provides a good analogy for a couple of questions.

A man went to a barber shop to have his hair cut as usual. He started
to have a good conversation with the barber who was cutting his hair. They
talked about many things and various subjects. Suddenly, they touched
the subject of God.

The barber said, "Look man, I don't believe that God exists!"
"Why do you say that?" asked the man. "Well, it's so easy; you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain? I can't think of loving a God who permits all of these things."

The man thought for the moment, but he didn't want to respond so as to cause an argument. The barber finished his job and the man went out of the shop. Just after he left the barber shop he saw a man in the street with long hair and beard. It seemed that it had been a long time since he had his hair cut and he looked so untidy.
Then the first man again entered the barber shop and he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist!"
"How can you say they don't exist?" asked the barber. I am here and I am a barber."
"No!" the man exclaimed. "You don't exist because if you did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks the streets."
"But, I do exist, and that is what happens when people do not come to me."
"Exactly!” affirmed the man. "That's the point. God does exist, and see what happens when so many people don't go to Him and do not look for Him? That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Well friends, it does not mean that the moment you receive Christ in your heart, life would be a bed of roses neither will everything go your way. Instead, it may be more difficult as you would face ridicule or mockery from others. These could be a test from God as He would never giver you a life that would make Him unnecessary. Instead, as a Christian we know that God is always with us and that in the end, we would have eternal life. Let us persevere and know that God is always with us and that no matter how difficult things may be, He would always give us a way out though it may not always be easy but God will always be there providing for us. Though God may give us sufferings, it will never be one that we cannot overcome or withstand instead, these sufferings would make us better and stronger and will allow us to help others. As long as we hold fast and trust in Him, He will show us a way.

And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5

If God is For us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31

2:04 AM<3

Well, after today's service, I really feel recharged and that all my problems and troubles are behind me. I'm now ready to tackle next week and with cell group meeting coming up, I will be more than ready for next week. God really has changed my life for the better and I've never experience such joy in my life and being able to get over things so quickly. I trust God will provide for me and offer me a way out but I know that it would not be easy and that I would have to really put in effort to make it work. I trust in You God.

2:02 AM<3

Well, the first Final Year Project is done and I can finally have good rest even though it is only for a few days. I have to say that this week has been quite smooth sailing and it was all by the grace of God and because I prayed for it. However, now I'm really drained and I can't wait to go to church to recharge and to prepare for the week ahead. I know that the sermon would be good and I can't wait to go to church. Certain things have happened and I wished that it didn't but I guess that's the way it would be. Anyway, I've wrote a poem but it's a something which I came up in 5 minutes thus it's not that great.

An echo fades into the night,
A mournful sound.
As you disappear from sight,
I crumble to the ground.
Sitting here all alone
Thinking about the past,
Of how our friendship has flown
When I thought that it would last.
These days, when I saw hi
Hoping for a smile from you
All you do is to say bye
And bid me adieu!

Dazed, I stare at the stars above
Wishing I could find the reason
But it’s all like a released dove,
And it all begins to darken.
I remember how it used to be,
When we shared all our fears and delights
You were a treasured friend to me
How can I make it all right?

Feeling cold and lonely,
It’s all that I feel
Is this for me only?
The sadness is too real
Should I back away and build a wall
To hide how I feel?
Or should I give you a call?
I need these to heal.

Well, maybe I should say goodbye,
I never thought I’ll see this day.
All I can ask is why
Why would I feel this way?
I wish we were still friends
But the feelings are too much to bear
So I guess this is the end
Though as a friend I really care

7:30 PM<3

I had planned to post this on Friday but I was too tired and feel asleep thus I didn't managed to blog about it. Anyway, in this week's Studio Production, I did a totally new role which is ...... Talent. Haha! What's more? I was the host, which was the main role. Finally, I've overcome my fear of appearing before the camera.

Anyway, this week's service was by Rev. Dr. Kong. Pastor was back ad it was a great service where all of us enjoyed it. Pastor Kong is truly someone who knows how to speak to us all, through the use of everyday language but still maintaining the context of the word of God. He encouraged us to pray longer and louder and for us to help the church to grow bigger. Today, we learnt that God does not work through method or procedures but through Men and Women. God uses us to do great things. He can make use of even the smallest of us so all we have to do is to trust in God. We learnt about Self-Image, Self-Worth, Self-Esteem and Self-Respect.
Self-Image is how we see ourselves. God made us into his image and thus we should be happy with what we are. But first, we must know who God is before we can be in His image.
Self-Worth is how much we are worth or are valued. We are all valued very much by God. We are worth His son Jesus Christ dying on the cross for us therefore no matter what others may say, we are valuable and worth a lot to God.
Self-Esteem is how we feel about ourselves. We should always feel good about ourselves and truly experience God.
Self-Respect is respecting your own dignity.
With all these, we would be secure and thus be willing to be secure to serve as we are secure that no matter what we do, we would not fear losing respect.

Anyway, I feel that there are certain things which I should just give up on. If no matter how hard you try to be a friend for someone, and they do not appreciate it, I guess it's just time to move on and find someone better. Furthermore, there are certain traits which you have to look for before treating a person as a true friend like someone who is wise and will help you to grow instead of leading you astray. There are many more but I feel if anyone lacks any of the qualities, it would be better as to treat them as a friend and not close friend.

Friends, I just want you to know that all things are possible when you walk with God and you would change for the better. All your faults and bad habits would be replaced with something good and you would truly change for the better and people around you and even you yourself would be able to see the change. When you receive God, Christ will live within you and when you walk, He is walking with you and when you stretch out your hand and pray for someone, it's as though Christ is stretching out His hand and praying. So friends, I hope that all of you would be willing to receive Christ and become a new and better person.

11:46 PM<3

Hey friends, finally My FYP is done and we are having our exhibition this Thursday so if you would like to come, you're most welcome to.

10:47 PM<3

Today's cell group was a continuation of yesterday's service. It was all about overcoming disappointment and inner vows. After these two days, I realised that I really haven't really let go about certain things. It's just that I had gotten so used to burying it and that I've buried these so deep that I've forgotten about it and that after the service and cell group meeting, all of these just resurfaced and now I know that it's not because of one single event that has caused me to be so but a series of events. Once again, when Gloria was talking to us, there were some topics that really hit the nail on the head and I could feel all the emotions rushing up and when Sharlynn laid her hands on me, I started sobbing once again and more events started surfacing and I need to let all of these go. After which, Gloria laid hands on me and prayed for joy. At first, nothing seemed to happen and I still felt the sadness within me but after a while, I just felt this feeling within me and I started laughing and I laughed until my abdomen hurt. After we stopped laughing, I still kept smiling and there were times when I just burst out laughing again. Man, the feeling is really great.
So therefore, now all I can do is to confess all of these to God, talk to Him and hope that He can take it from me and replace it with something good. I put my faith in you Lord, I know that you have my future planned for me and that it's going to be a great one therefore Lord, I pray that you would make use of me. I hope that I would be able to let go of all my disappointments, resolve all of it the proper way and reconcile with the people who have disappointed me. God bless. Amen

9:50 PM<3

Went to Riverwalk for the second lesson of CIC. I learnt that going to church can be summed up in 3 letters; CIP. No, not Community Involvement Program. Haha! Rather, it's Celebration, Inspiration and Preparation. When we go to church, it's to celebrate therefore we have fun by worshiping God. Inspiration as we get inspired when we go to church and it's to prepare us for what's in store for us in life and that we are able to apply what we have learnt. After Riverwalk, we proceeded to Expo for the service and it was really an excellent one.

Today's service was about deliverance and it was truly an excellent service. However, before the service, as I've said before, I had a revelation and after today's sermon, I realised that it all ties in and that God truly has a purpose for me in life. Anyway, as pastor Mike Connell was preaching, I agreed to many thing wholeheartedly and that it was all really true and that I've and am still experiencing those things now. There were many times when pastor really hit the nail on the head and that I really had a heavy feeling in my chest and it just got heavier and my heart just started beating so fast and from what I've heard, there are different type of deliverance and that there was such a thing as silent deliverance. Anyway, when the sermon was over, pastor Mike told us to pray to God and when I did that, memories of my past just came to mind and tears just flowed out and soon, I was just sobbing my heart out and it just continued. It has been such a long time since I've cried like this. I've always told myself to be strong and not to cry and even if I did, it was just just a few drops but today, I just started sobbing and sobbing and really cried. I guess it's time I let all these things in my mind go now and that I shouldn't really hide it anymore.

Friends, I want all of you to know that God truly has a purpose for all of us and that He can really use us no matter who or where we are. We just need to admit our sins and turn to him. He will heal us of all our hurt and meet all our needs. He can help us to get past all of our disappointments and use it in a positive way that will help us to be a better person. God will provide for all our needs therefore, the question is: "Are you willing to let Jesus into your heart? Are you willing to let God into your life?" I hope that all of you would be able to make the right choice as I have and truly be saved by God. Amen

12:43 AM<3

I didn't go to school today as I want to complete my FYP therefore the whole day was spent at Beatrice's dad office trying to get our lights ready. I feel that after today, I had sort of grown back closer to them once again and I know this was possible as I have been praying to God about it and I hope that by this week, we would be able to complete the lights and have our exhibition done soon and get a good grade for it. I guess I'm not going to school tomorrow either and I'm contemplating if I should go too on Friday. But I know for a fact that I would not go down on Saturday.

As I was walking home today, I started praising and talking God when I came to this part "Lord, I just want to thank you for being there and blessing me since........" During that part, God actually talked to me. I had wanted to say since I've turned to you but before I could say it, God asked me:" Are you sure about that?" and at that point, God gave me a revelation. He has been there and blessing me ever since the day that I was borne. All through my life, God has always been there for me except that it was me that chose to ignore all the signs and to ignore Him totally. I once thought that God doesn't exist and that nothing in the world matters as there is no meaning in everything and anything at all and I had totally lost hope. As I thought about all of these, God continued to talk to me and it was something that we have all learnt which is; God has a path for us, he has created a path and future for us even before we were born. God had wanted me to walk the path which I did, he wanted me to experience all of those so that I will really see Him when the time comes and that I would be able to truly help others who are going through the same things that I've been through. After which, I thought about how God truly is a great and forgiving God and I thought about the passages in the bible about the children of Israel.

I hope that tomorrow would be a great day too. I know that it will be as God is looking out for me.

Friends, God truly is a great and forgiving God. His love for us is incomparable and no matter what, He will always be there for us; listening to us, supporting, guiding and blessing us. No matter what, God is always there even though you may not see it but He is there helping you but it's just that you can't see it. As I've thought about this, I became really happy and therefore I would just like to say to all of you that God truly is a great God and through Him, everything is possible.

8:48 PM<3

Well, I've been a tad serious in my blog and it's a little like preaching therefore I shall just post this random post.

Mindless Questions

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Stop singing and read on……. Yes, it caught me too!


Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why can't we lick our elbows?


You can stop trying to do it. Haha!

12:48 PM<3

On Sunday, we had our cell group and Gloria's back and we were all so happy that she was back as personally, I felt that without a cell group leader, I could be somewhat lost and that I have all these things inside of me that I want to let it all out. Gloria is truly a good cell group leader who is always there for us and guiding us. The cell group meeting was a continuation of what being a friend is and who you should choose to be around. After cell group, we had a mini gathering where we had snacks and talked. It was truly a bonding session for all of us and that I feel that as a cell group, we are truly growing and I hope that we would continue on and be closer to each other and God. With God within all of us, I know that it will be a fun and exciting journey.


Friends, Once again, I would like to stress the importance of true friends. True friends are those who would be there for you no matter what and not just to offer a listening ear but to give you advice and help you to grow. But to have true friends, we ourselves have to be true friends. Friends, I want all of you to know that there is no truer friend than Jesus as he laid His life down for us so that we could be saved. Truly, how many friends do you have that could do this for you? Therefore, I hope you guys can see this and be ready to receive Jesus in your heart. No matter what, He will be there for you, guiding you supporting and helping you to grow. With Jesus within you, anything is possible!
God Bless everyone. Amen

Random Photos after cell group

10:29 AM<3

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